taste buds

YOu know, I have heard that chemo fatigue lasts for a long time after the chemo is done.  I think I have been extremely fortunate about the whole chemo fatigue thing -- I really didn't have much, and what little I had (which mostly reared its head when it was time to figure out what to cook for dinner..... but maybe I always had that!?) didn't last long after the chemo was done.  I don't think.  I supposed I might wake up one day with lots more energy and say Hey this is what my energy used to be like!  I swear that's happened to me before..... after a viral illness so mild I hadn't realized I was sick..... but I did notice my energy was low.  It was soon after I'd turned 40, for 3 days I was just not psyched to do anything, like work out -- course I did it anyway.  I was just thinking that maybe I'd had 40 years of superior energy (which is a lot more than most people get!) when I woke up and realized I'd been sick.  (I was so happy!)  But I don't that's what's going on now -- for one thing I feel pretty good, not tired, biking faster than the Babes who took the winter off..... 

However the chemo effect on the taste buds seems to be lingering.  I had not thought it would, because it seemed to come and go after every chemo infusion over the winter.  However.... my last chemo was 1/22, and it's still going in and out.  I bought apples today, convinced that my troubles tasting them are now over.  (I have had some days where I've eaten apples and they've been good!)  However, not today.  Apples, and lots of other food (mostly fruit) are missing a good part of their taste.... and I know it's me, not them.  They all have some taste in common, for one thing, which they shouldn't (& don't usually.)  Maybe it's a metallic-like taste.  I wonder how long this lasts.  Maybe Susan Love says something about this.... maybe I will go check.

Well DOne

I'm 2/3 through radiation. It's fine, no real complaints.... it's like a sunburn. Thing is, if it were a sunburn, I pretty much would have gotten the idea by this point (even given my stubborn nature) that it's time to keep that area out of the sun for a bit, & let it heal. It's not real painful, just a bit tender. I'm wearing only large and extra large bras, so that they aren't tight.

There was a clearance at Target recently on sports bras. I was psyched because they were bright colors, and because they are flat until you put something in them, so they fit both sides of my chest... the one with the breast and the flat one. And when I tried them on it turned out that I fit most of the sizes, which at the time was cool because they only had a few left in each size. Now it turns out that those large and extra large bras are the only ones I'm wearing -- and at this rate I might stop wearing them before I'm done. So my remaining boob will droop and my nipple show. I go braless now sometimes anyway.... it's way less big a deal than it used to be with 2 breasts!

ANyway I'm going to walk today I think.... and maybe swim later. (It's beautiful out, warmer outside than in!) I got some great ideas about swimming, thanks to Jennifer and Barry. I think I'm going to try the vaseline idea first, maybe with some plastic wrap between it and my swim suit. Tegaderm turns out to be something they use on me at radiation; I have a small piece of it on me now. The last one they put on me stayed there for weeks, and when it fell off, the skin was dry underneath ...... which means no moisturizer would get into an area covered with tegaderm either, and I don't know that I want to peel it off before it comes off, as it might take some skin with it. So I'll start with vaseline. WHo knows, maybe it will work so well I'll want to use it when I swim after radiation ends, too -- since I have never figured out how to protect my skin and hair from all that chlorine..... Actually I hear there's a product that protects skin -- but the woman who told me didn't remember what it was! I don't want to rely on google because how will I know the good producte from the crap? SO if anyone knows... do tell!

In other news..... I don't know that Emily will appreciate my posting this, but we've had a little trouble with lice. It's going around her school and, well.... it has come to her head. This time, however, it took awhile for us to realize that she had it, because our usual harbinger of lice was silent -- me! Every time in the past that the kids have had lice I've been the first to know, because I always got it too, and having had an awful case of it as a kid, I knew the feeling right away, every time.

But this time....... You know, lice is always a pain in the butt to deal with, but if it has to come to my house, let it come when I'm bald, I say! :-D

swimming

I'm halfway through week 4 -- so I have 2.5 weeks left. So far so good, though Alan and Em agree that it's not pretty. It's a bit spotty and red I guess, and if I touch it in the middle of my chest it feels a bit itchy. Also, when I roll over to sleep face down it bothers me sometimes, so I've started using that pillow I got in the hospital (moon shaped) that i used to sleep fact down soon after the surgery. It works well.

I'm also still using vitamin E oil and the stuff Janet sent me on the chest site, and washing my chest in the morning before I go in -- since I think those things help my skin heal, and the doc is worried about the oil making me burn more.

SOmetimes bras hurt, but only tight ones -- so I'm wearing mostly large and extra large ones now. Sports bras, these are -- it turns out all sizes fit -- everything from small to XL. (I figured this out when target was having a clearance on their brightly colored sports bras.) The cool thing about sports bras are, they fit any size breast -- or non breast! And the two sides of the chest don't have to match; I don't have to wear anything on my right side for the bra to look fine. I think it looks quite nice -- I think people are just used to women looking symmetrical. So now I'm not symmetrical. People will get used to it. I got used to wearing mismatched earrings -- which was hard at first! And now the mismatched earrings go rather nicely with the lopsided chest! Course.... if I had realized I would be losing my right breast maybe I would have had the extra two piercings done in my right ear to balance it out -- so I'd have more earrings where the chest is flat Now I'm left-side heavy, both boob and earrings. It's not really noticeable though.

ANyway -- today I saw the radiation onc. He said that if he were in my situation he'd stop swimming now. He can see that I feel fine, though, and he knew just looking at me that I'm not ready to give up swimming. I will keep an open mind, and watch the skin for breaks..... I think he likes my spirit....

I have this stubborn voice in my head. People said I might not be able to bike through chemo, and the voice said, just watch me. Now I am hearing that maybe I should stop swimming..... and I'm thinking, maybe not.

Probably should go to bed, though. Going....