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Saturday, March 28, 2009

I figured it out!

My burn is better and better. It's completely obvious that the problem was caused by the gauze. The question that was bothering me was, why did the doctor not realize that the gauze was going to cause the problem? He asked me to lie low this weekend, stop using gauze AND cut my activity level. It must be something to do with some activity I'm doing, he said. Clearly he had no idea, hadn't seen it happen before, so he figured, must be my level of activity, something none of his other patients do.

But as I biked home I knew it wasn't biking -- my arm is held well away from my side where the burn area is when I bike, and is held STILL, with my hands on the handlebars. Biking has got to be the kindest thing on the burn area just the way swimming is the hardest on it. (That's because chlorine is hard on the skin. It's getting better though -- I will swim again, maybe within the week. Still have those tegaderm bandages, and I know to take them off now, when I'm done swimming.)

Anyway, this afternoon I took the dog for a long walk -- hills for an hour. Afterwards I came home, came in, took off my sweaty shirt, patted the burn area dry, and put on more gel and a big shirt with room for the stuff to dry while I ate dinner. And I realized -- when I had the gauze on the sweat just collected. It wasn't enough that I could change the gauze without hurting my burn..... unless that was going to be my bath time. I did take a bath after the bike rides last Wednesday and Friday, and changed the gauze -- but I only did that (took a bath & changed the gauze) once in 24 hrs. I didn't take baths after every time I walked the dog, though.... even if I walked her for an hour, I didn't always get to take a bath til evening -- and I couldn't get the gauze off any other way......

It seems unlikely, especially given the high number of women in breast cancer treatment who start getting hot flashes on chemo.... but somehow I think my doctor isn't used to patients who do enough to sweat. (Weird, huh? What kinda life...... like a life without sex.....but I guess it takes all kinds!)

Friday, March 27, 2009

nudity & cherry blossoms

so the doc said I have to go around topless this weekend, let the thing air dry. I have a T-shirt on now, which is wonderful. When the gel was drying I really had to let it be naked -- and I found that I don't LIKE being naked when I don't have my skin on! I am fine with nudity generally, but going around with a bare naked gaping wound....no. I especially didn't like cooking dinner like that, with the frying pan spatter.

YOu'd think I could wait til it dries to cook, but the burn gel really takes a good hour or two to dry. Feels like your whole life when it's happening. I have never been patient, and by now I have given up on the idea of gaining patience when I grow up..... though I really did used to think it was gonna happen! Comes from growing up with a non-genetic parent I think. You think you will somehow inherit some of their traits when you grow up, but, um, doens't work out quite that way.....

Anyway I thought you guys might want to know my wound is nothing so bad as it seemed yesterday. In fact already this morning it looked better..... I had to change the dressing in the AM before the bike ride, because there was blood soaked through all the gauze and my T-shirt, and it occurred to me that if I was actively bleeding a bike ride might not be the best idea. It was soaked enough that the dressing came off easily -- and then lo and behold, it turned out that the stuff soaking the gauze was mostly not blood at all (I'd say 5% blood at the most.) So I patched myself up and off I went!

The other interesting observation was ALan's. He pointed out that the problem with the wound started after I started putting gel and gauze on, as per the doctor's orders. I suppose it's possible it was going to get bad anyway last week, but I think the gauze and gel made it worse in any case ..... I DID tell them that the gel made the gauze stick to me, and that it peeled my skin off when I changed the dressing.... but whatever; it's over now.

About the CHERRY BLOSSOMS..... I don't know if you guys all know about them, but the DC cherry blossoms are famous. BTW they are famous not because they're beautiful, but because the japanese gave them to us after WW2. They ARE beautiful, but if you saw spring here you would question the fuss about the cherry blossoms too. EVERYthing is beautiful! I've never lived anywhere that wakes up and comes into bloom the way it does here. The cherry blossoms are great, but about 50% of the other stuff that comes into bloom sometime in the spring is even better. Personally, if I had to choose a tree to have a festival about here it would be redbuds. They are this small tree that blooms later (another week or two maybe?) They start out with a purple outline that feels like it's in your head..... and then it gets big enough that it's clearly real. Later they are full blossoms -- and in the summer the leaves are heart shaped. We planted one out in front of the house last summer (a present from the Birchells when they moved away) and it looks like it wintered over okay -- so I expect a purple outline any day now..... The magnolias are beautiful, too.

Anyway the cherry blossom festival starts tomorrow -- and we went on a blossom ride today. I thought the trees would be in bloom because I'd seen one in the next neighborhod over, on a dog walk. However I found out an interesting thing. Weeping cherries are in bloom now. They are LOVELY. Much lovelier than the regular kind, I personally think -- but I just love anything that grows in that droopy way. (Every seen a weeping pine? Omigod!) However, the NON weeping cherries are not in bloom yet. They were bare trees with buds, all of them. Luckily we passed a few lovely weeping cherries as well -- someone took pictures.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

WARNING don't eat while reading GROSS DESCRIPTION in this post

The bleeding was worse today, and the bloody area larger. The bathtub looked sobering when I got out.... You know those TV shows where people commit suicide by cutting themselves in the bathtub? Yeah, extremely gross. Well the tub made me think of those scenarios when I stood up in it today -- though to be fair it was more brown than red. (I was getting ready to worry about blood loss, and then I realized I haven't had a period since last June..... and it probably wasn't even one period's worth.) Anyway, I called the doctor after the bath..... he wants me to come in, of course. The thing is, no way will he be able to see it without putting me into excruciating pain. Except maaaybe....

I dried the area before putting gauze on. When it was dry enough I put a layer of antibiotic ointment followed by a layer of burn gel -- and then let it dry some more. I was probably walking around with half a shirt on for a good 45 mins. THEN I put on an OIL soluble burn ointment, before putting the gauze on. SO one can hope that the gauze will peel off enough for a good look inside without taking the scabbing off with it......

Also there is a cherry blossom bike ride tomorrow morning I'm going to go to first. Last year I missed the cherry blossom ride to have the suspicious lymph node removed -- which led to my diagnosis. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss a SECOND cherry blossom ride a YEAR LATER because of the same disease! Luckily the doctor thought that was completely reasonable, and said I can come at 1pm with my bike. Whew!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

radiation burn

I guess the doc wasn't exaggerating when he said it would get worse for 7-10 days. At this point I can only get the gauze off in the bath. (Now THERE's a way to make sure I take one daily!) Today when the gauze came off (in the bath, on its own, I didn't pull...) it was quite bloody under my armpit. The spot on my chest is much better though -- and the middle is mostly just peeling. I don't like the smell -- like a hospital. Doesn't look or smell infected, though -- I think this is what they expected. It's pretty gross, though. It ought to be better enough for a photo op by 4/2, though -- a year since my diagnosis. I'll try to remember to get one taken then.

I went on a great bike ride today -- 33 miles -- and came home with 2.5 loaves of bread. I can feel it in my legs and I'm nice and tired. Might have to wait til the AM to have the energy to write the ride report, though. :-D (ENergy is funny that way....)

Speaking of energy, I got this fabulous waterproof Iron Woman watch in the mail. It screamed Natasha at me (my swimming mentor!) and sure enough I found her name on it. However, when I thanked her she said it was a joint present from her, Lori, Sandi, Jim, David Gillman and David Osofsky. WOW! I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a cool present -- but I will try to do it justice. Thanks guys. I'm thinking Natasha thought of it maybe when I posted something to FB about having swum a mile in 35-38 minutes.....

I'm liking having my mornings back though. Yesterday am I got a nap. Today I went for a bike ride. Tomorrow maybe another nap? Actually I had a nap this afternoon too..... it was unplanned; Emily came home with a sewing project. I lay on one sofa while she did her homework on the other. I didn't even see her move to the TV room with her sewing.... next thing I knew ALan was calling to say he was on his way home. I won't dare swim with the burn as bad as it is, and in just the place where I would need to move the most (so a tegaderm bandage might not feel good.) However, on non biking days I've been walking, say an hour and a half, with the dog. SHE thinks it's great!