2nd taxotere-carboplatin infusion

It was raining yesterday -- so I got to try out my new "hurricane jacket"! It really did keep me dry, for all 26 miles! Not so the rain pants I'd gotten for free...... I hear there's some kinda spray I can put on them though -- will keep eyes open for it. Meanwhile, the upper body is the main thing, so I was fine.

So I biked to chemo and back, with my loyal friend Joan. I got to take only one 4mg tab of decadron (steroid) the day before, but had to stick with 10 on chemo day, since that's already a cut from the 20 most people get. However, the doctor said I could skip the steroid these next two days -- at my discretion; I could also take a 4 mg tab this morning. (I did. Alan was more comfortable with a more gradual decrease -- and I kinda am too. Besides, I seem to be more tired this time..... maybe it was hard biking in the rain?)

I biked there again today for the neulasta shot, and Joan came again. I rode the nice bike today -- I seem to be slower the day after chemo; this is the 2nd time I've noticed that. (It didn't happen on taxol -- or not so noticeably, if it did. I don't know about AC -- I forgot. Maybe it's in the old blog posts.) Today was hard because it was cold and windy -- and probably also because day after chemo. So now I've ridden 52 miles in the last 2 days -- I think I will sleep. I sure am tired. Maybe hard biking is enough against the decadron, if I have less of it? Or maybe this chemo is actually hard enough in some way that the decadron is necessary..... not sure.

I saw a different doc this time, because mine was out of town. This was a young woman, and she was great. She talked about trying to get zometa for her patients (the bisphosphinate I want!!) and also said she'd seen a study of cancer survivors who engage in vigorous exercise having a 50% better survival rate. (This she volunteered when she came in the room and saw me and Joan with all our biking garb. It was a nice reaction, because we were a bit of a mess!)

There was more but I'm tired. I'll tell ya later if I think of it. It went fine, basically. The only complication is, Matthew's sick. I actually had to leave him home alone sick while I went to chemo. He's big and competent -- but I didn't like being that unavailable. In fact it went fine until I was on my way home and his temp was going up. We are working on getting him the meds ahead of the temp spike..... (You would think I'd have had this in the bag -- it's just the same as when I had to take meds while on taxol to get ahead of the pain.... but nooooooo, had to relearn it all over again.....) I didn't make it home before Em yesterday either, though I expected to, since she was going to work in the library after school until 4 -- but it turned out it was closed for some meeting so she came home at the regular time, 2:40. However, she was invaluable -- Matthew started to get needy right around then and she totally took care of him -- and washed her hands about 17 times in between everything she did, she promised me before I even asked!

It was kinda funny -- when I came in the back door all wet and muddy and asked Em to go bring me the shoe/mud towel from the front door, she did -- and then she said she'd gotten to watch about 20 minutes of her movie in the last hour and a half. (I felt like "welcome to my life!") She said she hadn't minded helping Matthew, but now she kind of didn't want to be asked to help anymore for awhile. It was very cute, and quite reasonable. (Course it also meant that she wanted me to get her food while I was all wet and drippy. SHe waited.) Then later when I asked Matthew if he'd done this and that -- taken meds, taken his temp, refilled his water, written the meds and times and temps and times down, he answered "Emily did it" to every question. It was somehow even more impressive. It was heartening actually.

And I'm glad it's the weekend, because I really don't want to be the parent in charge of a sick kid, while I'm on chemo. I am getting neulasta shots, which boost my white count, and should help a lot with avoiding catching illnesses -- but I'm told that neutropenia is still a risk -- maybe because other white cells are not overproducing? NOt sure about this. I took Matthew to the doctor this evening, and he tested negative for strep and flu. (We've all had the flu shot this year but it's only 85%.) The doc volunteered to order the flu test after I told him I was on chemo and concerned about how many days I was being exposed to illness. Apparently if you can get a flu dx within 48 hrs you can start this med that makes it last shorter.

Matthew seemed well just after seeing the doctor actually. He said it was because he got to take off his sweater, and was so much more comfortable. ALan had told him to dress warmly to "sweat it out" and the doc had told him to stay cool. (I had told him to listen to his body and bundle up when he's cold, and take it off when he's hot. How can anyone do otherwise??!! But he said ALan seemed so sure of himself. Now let's think -- who worked in a clinic with nurses for her best friends for 14 years?) Anyway, he seemed a lot more comfortable after that -- maybe some combo of physical comfort and getting empowered to listen to his body....

And now I have to go get a good night's sleep so I can go buy popsicles and clementines and stuff for him tomorrow. I just couldn't fit it in today.....

Heart Normal

I talked with the cardiologist today. My heart pump function is fine, he said. If anything was going to get affected by the chemo, that was it. I pressed for clarification & he said that if the adriamycin damaged the heart, the damage must be pretty small because it doesn’t show up on the ultrasound. (Maybe that’s normal – I don’t know – but I sure found it reassuring!!) I have to repeat some bloodwork, though – my magnesium level was low (and he wants me to start taking a supplement now) and my thyroid level is also a little low. So I will repeat the bloodwork and we’ll see…. He did say that low magnesium levels can cause a predisposition to palpitations and arrhythmia.

So -- any words of wisdom about these things are most welcome. I'm feeling a distinct lack of wisdom about these matters......

hair & GI stuff

It's freezing here. It would have been nice if I could have just followed my doctor's plan and been done with chemo -- the timing was such that I would have had a little fur cover for winter, and been starting radiation now, which is a nice topical burning, just right for when it's freezing outside.

I mean if you have to do it, isn't winter the time? You know? But no, I have to be stubborn and have more chemo. I still stand by my reasons -- most of the time -- I hope. But the timing was better the other way. I mean, I can't really complain about hitting winter when I'm going into my 3rd course of chemo, given that each course is 3 months long and I had to stop for surgery after the 2nd, & take a break before and after it of a month each. I did in fact do chemo for my three favorite seasons since the start of my breast cancer treatment -- but they're over now.... just because when you're not in PR, seasons happen!

I do worry that this part will be the hardest just because it's winter. I always have a hard time with winter, so why should this one be different? It is better since we moved (3 month winters here, as opposed to 5.5 month winters in BOston. They were so long there, I used to feel like a mole blinking in the sunlight after they ended. Here they actually end soon enough that I still remember who I am afterwards -- whew!)

ANyway -- my hair is falling out again. It wasn't keeping me very warm anyway -- it's only an inch or two long, and the first inch is thin and white. It's nice that most of it started coming in thicker and brown after the chemo hair. (I had hair while I was on weekly taxol, but it was white and soft, like a baby duck. Not quiiite real hair. I did worry about the white, but I think most of it was just temporary actually. I did have some real white hair before, and it was thick and wiry, not wispy and flyaway.) Anyway this is not a big deal -- except that I have to get my friend to come shave me again before I get hair all over -- or worse, under -- everything. (Will have to start wearing hats when I dress, so I don't get hair under my shirt and itch all day like after a new haircut.)

What's more of a problem for me is that I have been having GI problems for the last week. It just occurred to me that it could be the chemo. I will ask. I haven't had that before, from chemo -- however I have also not had GI problems before chemo that remained unresolved after a day or two of low eating and bland food diet. It's not a tummy ache; I don't get those. It's gas and bloating, very gross and uncomfortable. They said the chemo could cause diarrhea or constipation, but this is neither. Feels like my gut would prefer if I didn't eat much of anything really -- which wouldn't be the best idea, nutritionally, if it has to go on for months.... I will have to check in with them about it.