hair & GI stuff

It's freezing here. It would have been nice if I could have just followed my doctor's plan and been done with chemo -- the timing was such that I would have had a little fur cover for winter, and been starting radiation now, which is a nice topical burning, just right for when it's freezing outside.

I mean if you have to do it, isn't winter the time? You know? But no, I have to be stubborn and have more chemo. I still stand by my reasons -- most of the time -- I hope. But the timing was better the other way. I mean, I can't really complain about hitting winter when I'm going into my 3rd course of chemo, given that each course is 3 months long and I had to stop for surgery after the 2nd, & take a break before and after it of a month each. I did in fact do chemo for my three favorite seasons since the start of my breast cancer treatment -- but they're over now.... just because when you're not in PR, seasons happen!

I do worry that this part will be the hardest just because it's winter. I always have a hard time with winter, so why should this one be different? It is better since we moved (3 month winters here, as opposed to 5.5 month winters in BOston. They were so long there, I used to feel like a mole blinking in the sunlight after they ended. Here they actually end soon enough that I still remember who I am afterwards -- whew!)

ANyway -- my hair is falling out again. It wasn't keeping me very warm anyway -- it's only an inch or two long, and the first inch is thin and white. It's nice that most of it started coming in thicker and brown after the chemo hair. (I had hair while I was on weekly taxol, but it was white and soft, like a baby duck. Not quiiite real hair. I did worry about the white, but I think most of it was just temporary actually. I did have some real white hair before, and it was thick and wiry, not wispy and flyaway.) Anyway this is not a big deal -- except that I have to get my friend to come shave me again before I get hair all over -- or worse, under -- everything. (Will have to start wearing hats when I dress, so I don't get hair under my shirt and itch all day like after a new haircut.)

What's more of a problem for me is that I have been having GI problems for the last week. It just occurred to me that it could be the chemo. I will ask. I haven't had that before, from chemo -- however I have also not had GI problems before chemo that remained unresolved after a day or two of low eating and bland food diet. It's not a tummy ache; I don't get those. It's gas and bloating, very gross and uncomfortable. They said the chemo could cause diarrhea or constipation, but this is neither. Feels like my gut would prefer if I didn't eat much of anything really -- which wouldn't be the best idea, nutritionally, if it has to go on for months.... I will have to check in with them about it.