adustment

I would say that this week has been the hardest one for me, i dont know why it just was, i have had a couple bad days just randomly about the whole thing. There were a couple of times i just burst into tears and cryed for a while, the whole time when i am accually thinking about what is going on i realize that i shouldn't be worried because my mom is in good hands ( even if we do have to wait like 1 and a half hours to have my moms blood drawn and talk to the doctor) in a sceduald appointment. ( dont bother about the spelling)

All in all i have had a pretty bad week exept i am really happy about all the offers to help us out, it means alot to me

(please let me know what you think about all of this!)

Energy!

Yesterday was my first reliably well day since the chemo last Thursday. (I know I posted that I was feeling better on Monday afternoon, but Tuesday am was another story.) I don't know if I'm better because it's just been enough days since the chemo, or if it has something todo with taking the anti nausea med at night, even though I'm not nauseous then. I started doing that Tuesday night (hoping it would help) because waking up nauseous just messes up the day.... can't get my energy up if I can't eat, and then what can I do?

Yesterday I went on a bikeride with the Babes. It was great but they got worried and sent me back early with an escort! I was fine though, and would have ridden harder and faster. Tomorrow I'm going to do the whole ride -- and it's going to be a pretty one! I hope the bike cooperates.... it complained a little about gear changes.

Now if I can stomach the chlorine smell I will go swimming. (smell never bothered my stomach before!) If I can't (or if Pinky guilt trips me) I will go for a long dog walk instead. Course I always get sleepy around when the pool opens.... in about 5 minutes! :-D

Feeling Better!

Around midday today I turned a corner. It was almost in time to swim..... it was in time to walk but it was raining buckets. (Pinky won't come out when it's raining. She thinks she's a cat.) It was still good though -- I was hungry!

I got my bike back from Jonathan (world's best bike mechanic) even though it's only good for a couple of weeks. He says it needs an overhaul -- I'm planning to get it to him JUST before my next treatment. I'm going to be ready to bike by the time it stops raining now..... which looks like Wednesday. I hope this treatment regimen works because it seems like it might be doable.... (I don't feel the tumor shrinking yet..... pity if it doesn't. But it's only been 4.5 days so far.)

I have to remember that how I feel isn't exactly an indication of how well the treatment is working ... it's just recuperation from the meds. Still it feels like a kind of victory to be out from under the cycle of nausea/ dizziness & sleepiness caused by the nausea medication. I feel like I'm not quite myself without my energy. Maybe even more than without my hair! Course I don't know about that yet.....hair's still here.

OH here, I have a question. My friend Cara who cuts my hair offered to cut it short for me when she comes over to style my wig (probably wednesday. And no I don't know how much I will use the wig -- maybe just for work so i don't scare the small children.... maybe not even then.) Her thinking is that if I have a short haircut it will be less of a shock when it all falls out. I'm undecided about whether to take her up on it. My instinct is to keep my hair long and wild for as long as possible.... but on the other hand she's really good with hair and this would be a chance to try something new that I might not usually have the guts to try..... So -- who knows what I will do, but I'd love to hear opinions!