last MD visit before surgery

Well she agreed that it had shrunk more, but I don't think she ever considered the idea of giving me more chemotherapy though I had brought it up as a question before, and sent her an email letting her know I would be asking again at yesterday's visit. I'm not sure how I feel about that but there's nothing I can do about it either. It's nice to be done, but I don't understand stopping when it's working just because of a protocol - and mostly it really pisses me off that in the end the discussion doesn't really matter; we do what she says because she's the doctor!

I suppose the protocols really do bind her -- but I would like my wishes to matter here more than they feel like they do, and I would like some recognition that what I do and say matters...... She said that my response to the chemo had been better than expected. Well maybe there is a problem with their expectations -- I expected it! (It IS pretty cool, though.)

Afterwards I went upstairs and visited with my chemo buddies. It was really nice to hang with them. Too bad I booked up the next two Thursdays with medical appointments. I'm going to have to see if I can change them to other days so I can go see the gang again; all but one of them will finish their treatments by the time I'm in MInnesota, and it will be harder to get together after that -- especially since we'll all still have more treatment. (Three of us will have surgery and then radiation in different places & on different schedules. I don't know what happens when surgery was before chemo -- is there radiation after or did it happen already, or is it skipped.....?)

So now I have to make lots of appointments... some with radiation oncologists so I can figure out which one to go to for radiation, and set that up. Also I have to see if I can get a surgeon here who will do my post-op visit so I don't have to go to Minnesota twice. (If anyone has any ideas or recommendations on that score please tell me!) Oh and I have to get a rental van set up for next Friday through Sunday so we can carpool with some other folks to the wedding in the catskills and I don't have to drive all 13 hrs myself. I think the other people in the carpool want to leave before noon, though, and Matthew doesn't want to skip school. He happens to have a half day -- they both do -- and I was hoping that 12:15 would work for people, but they are worried about hitting NYC at rush hour, and that's probably about right. However, it's also true that the high school and middle school teachers here are extremely uptight about missed school........

Meanwhile I'm still tired and would rather put it all off and take a nap -- since I can't go on the bikeride on this BEAUTIFUL DAY!!! My knee went out on Wednesday's ride and I have to rest it and maybe take it to the chiropractor again.