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Tuesday, October 7, 2008

feeling yucchy BUT tumor shrinking

I think I'm just having trouble managing my palliative meds.... took the small dose of morphine that usually heralds a great next day (keeps me pain free for a lot longer than the 4 hrs it says) on an emptier stomach than I thought...... This morning I was too nauseated when I got vertical to help with the kids in the morning and poor ALan had to do it all.... and Matthew asked as he left how I was going to pick him up after debate this afternoon. (As if I'd have the patience to be sick all day!) Now the challenge has been getting enough food into me to get out and get at least a good dog walk in.

And then of course I didn't feel well because my blood sugar was down so low -- that's an OLD problem, but on top of new ones it's sometimes a bit hard to recognize. And then it's hard to eat when you feel bad from low blood sugar..... yeah I know that one; happens to emily every morning; that's why we have trouble feeding her breakfast.

On the other hand I finally figured out what my oncologist is feeling when she measures my tumor. See there's still this large mass -- but it's soft, and that's the fibrocyst which has been there for decades. But there's this hard thing on top of it jsut to the right of my nipple -- it's about the size of a kidney bean now -- well maybe not exactly; it's harder to find the edges sometimes than others. We will see how she measures it on Thursday and what she says about extending treatment a few weeks to disappear it.

While I would love to be done I would love a shot at a complete remission more.

Besides -- if there's a delay of 2-3 weeks, I'd get to be here for Halloween, and the chances that my in laws would make it to stay with the kdis while we go to the mayo would be increased..... and my chemo buddies will all still be there for the next 3 weeks......

OKay I'm going to walk this dog now..... we'll do the 4 mile loop. OUtside always makes me feel better.

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