Well I meant to post an update about the acupuncture next, but...... before I got to it something else happened.
For about 2 weeks I'd been feeling a new band of tightness along the inside of my right arm. It was a lot like the post radiation roping and tightness -- kind of like my tendon was trying to turn into a rubber band. I didn't really get why I'd be feeling that kind of thing again now, but what do I know? I figured I'd pull back against it, swim it out. That worked before. SO last Fri and Sat I swam a mile each day. The tightness stopped pulling after a few minutes of swimming, but there was a redness that didn't seem to be going away. Then on Sunday there was a hard red spot on my arm in the middle of the band, just above the inside of my elbow.
So I emailed the PT I'd had a few sessions with in Jan/Feb (before we figured out that our insurance didn't cover her & I had to stop) and I emailed my radiation onc, even though it's been 7 months since I finished radiation, and described the red protrusion on my arm. He answered promptly and predictably: "Can you come in and show me your arm?" That was Monday afternoon. On Tuesday I had 3 jobs planned, and thought I'd swim in between job #2 and #3, and see the doc after the last one, at about 2:15-2:30. I warned Em I might not make it to pick her up at 3:30, after her after-school activity. Oh boy, was that an understatement!
By Tuesday morning I had decided I didn't like the look of the thing on my arm. YOu know how sometimes in the middle of the night problems that seem small and insignificant during the day feel big and ominous? Often they quiet down by day again, but sometimes for me the nighttime questions are real questions that perhaps the chaos of my daily life had been keeping away. ANyway Monday night I was massaging my red spot, thinking it was probably something the PT could rub out, when a little voice in my head said "Hmmm, it's red, swollen and hard. What could it be?" I used to interpret for my nurse friends at the clinic, when I worked as an AIDS educator, often enough that I knew what they were going to say before they said it. This thing had all the hallmarks of an infection.
So the next morning when the PT called me back, I said, "Thanks, but I think this is one for the doctor." I also called my doctor's office, and asked if I could come earlier than 2:30. A voice in my head said "If I were a doctor and someone brought me an arm that looked like this, I'd want them in the hospital on IV antibiotics." I almost packed a small overnight bag in my car, with at least my eyedrops, but then I thought, Nah, I'm not a doctor, what do I know?
I scooted in to see my doctor after job #1, at about 9:45. He came right out and met me in a room. He took one look at my arm and said "Okay, this is serious. YOu need to go to the ER." I was not happy to hear this.... I've only ever been to the ER for my kids, and always had to wait, and wait, and waaaaitttt -- the better the patient looks, the longer they wait. And I always look fine. Even when I was in labor they didn't believe me..... When I went to the hospital to have Matthew I arrived pretty sure it was time, but got delayed by the woman taking insurance info, who said, "Yeah, this is your first, right? They all think it's urgent -- but it could be two weeks!" So.... I had always been thinking I'd like to try having a natural birth, but when I got to the midwife, I said, "YOu know, I might be interested in some pain meds, actually, if it really might be awhile." And she checked me and said "Too late, just push."
So this is where my dismay about going to the ER was coming from..... but this time was different, because my doctor walked me over to the ER. (This is a great doctor -- too bad he's my radiation onc and that's over with.....you want a doctor like that all the time, you know?)
When we got to the ER the doc said to the guy on duty "She looks good, but this is an emergency." THey took me in right away. My doctor also went in and talked to someone -- gave them my history or something. What a guy!
That was Tuesday morning. I was in the hospital until yesterday at about 3pm. (Yeah, I know -- I shoulda listened to that inner voice and packed that bag....) It's cellulitis, which sounds deceptively like cellulite, but is not, as Matthew guessed, butt fat on my arm. It's an infection. It's dangerous! It might have been caused by my picking my cuticles. Yikes! On my right hand, that is, because I have no lymph nodes in my right armpit. (Holy shit, I am going to have to figure out how not to do that!) You can't have manicures on the hand attached to the no-lymph-node arm. I didn't know that, but I might have been told; I am not tempted by manicures, so I wouldn't have paid attention. However, the picking is similar, if you think about it.....
So I spent Tuesday in the ER and Tuesday night through Thurs in a hospital room. I got 250 mg vancomycin by IV every 12 hours, 5 times. Then they sent me home with a prescription for 2 weeks of keflex. I can't imagine how one little red pill a day is going to do the job of 6 hours* of IV antibiotics...... The infection doesn't look any better to me, just different -- more contained, and taking up a smaller area, but harder and firmer, so that it burns when I extend my arm all the way. (I can still do that, though -- no restrictions. I am allowed to ignore the pain -- however, I was also told that pushing through the pain wouldn't speed up the healing. Yeah, that's my usual strategy...*In all fairness I have to admit that the antibiotics are usually given in an hour each dose, so that would be 2 hrs a day. I was starting to get a reaction, though, and needed it administered more slowly, with a benadryl. Reminded me of how I had to get cytoxan. Just my body on drugs I guess -- but of a lightweight that way.
Em had a hard time with my being in the hospital, and Alan and Matthew gave up some stuff -- Alan had to cut his workday a lot, and Matthew missed a ball game because he didn't have a ride. Thank goodness he has a friend who drives; that's how he got home from his after school stuff every day! And I was not pleased initially -- I had to call work and explain that I was bailing on jobs #2 and 3 at the last minute! But then it got interesting.
They did an ultrasound of my vein to make sure there were no clots. The guy doing it was learning and the more experienced guy was right there with him directing him so I got to learn too -- and as soon as they got past my clavicle I got to turn my head and watch the ultrasound too. And then when I got to my room I had a roommate who was an elderly Spanish-only speaker. And there I was, a Spanish interpreter who felt fine and hadn't gotten to do her last 2 hours of work for the day! I worried that it would be a problem, confidentiality-wise, for me to interpret for her, but when the doctors came in and used the phone service instead of me, the only thing they had for privacy was a curtain, so I heard everything, in two languages. So I interpreted for the nurses, technicians, nutritionist, etc. (I assumed that the docs have to follow protocol.) The nurses told the next shift of nurses about my offer, in their report about the patients on the floor. It was fun.
After I got home I found an interesting thing: I had been on a bike ride on Monday, and I went on another bike ride today. (I asked, no restrictions on activity.) I had been slow and struggling to keep up with the group on Monday, and my knee had started giving me trouble on uphills. I'd had to cut the ride short -- to 30 miles, when I'd been planning to ride 40. (I'd been riding more slowly the previous 2 weeks, losing ground, but I didn't expect to find a specific cause....) I went to the chiropractor in the evening and was surprised to hear that there wasn't anything seriously wrong with my knee...... he adjusted me and gave me exercises though. But then today I rode great, no problem riding with the group for like 30 miles. (I mean it didn't even feel like keeping up!) Today's ride was a 50, but I decided to skip one of the extra loops, so my ride was 43m. That was about where I had been at with my riding until a few weeks ago, when I started getting tired and slowing down for no apparent reason.
Well who knew? Apparently an infection DOES slow you down! I think I was also waking up more tired and sometimes nauseous in the month or two or three before my cancer was diagnosed. All those blood vessels diverted...... my body missed them! I feel like these things would have had to work harder to slow me down in the past, when I was younger. (Is it harder to detect cancer in kids, I wonder, because of that? Or maybe just high energy kids?)
Anyway that was my hospital adventure. It was fun because I kind of like medical stuff -- but I would have preferred to go the week before when we had 4 days straight of cold rain; it was NICE out the 3 days I was in the hospital! (I got out for walks -- but just once a day, for less than an hour.)
I came home with 2 weeks' worth of keflex. They tell me it won't shrink down for 2 weeks, and will hurt for a month. It only hurts when I touch it or extend my arm all the way out, though.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Chinese Medicine
My radiation burn is back to just about normal, BTW. I saw the doc Tuesday and he was happy about that. It's still itchy, but those bumps I wanted the doc to look at were gone -- which he said is good; when the cancer returns the bumps stay. Mine were itchy.... There is still some itchiness -- got to find where I put that calendula ointment Janet gave me.....
When I was in Ithaca with the 3 day viral thing, I went to see Lenny's CHinese doctor -- because of the viral thing which I wasn't sure was viral. And I learned something interesting. She took my pulses and said she felt a liver imbalance. I thought at first that it was from all the chemo, but she said, actually she's worked with a number of breast cancer survivors, and we tend to have liver imbalances -- and SHE says that this type of imbalance predisposes you to breast cancer, and her thought is that we've always had it, or had it for a long time.
She said I need to protect my liver, and recommended I quit drinking and eating fatty heavy foods. I said okay, but I don't really eat those foods, and I wasn't drinking more than one drink a few days a week (okay maybe every day when I was in New Mexico, but usually it's a max of 2 days a week -- and often none.) So I said, sure I'll stop, but that's a little change; I don't think it will fix any imbalances. She said, yes, that's a little change; the big change is emotional balancing. She asked me about emotional traumas in my life. I couldn't think of any.
However, I have been paying attention since then -- and i do have a hard time not taking it in when the kids throw their emotions at me. I have to learn to protect myself from that. I have learned not to take it in when Alan throws his emotions around, and that took a long time, since it happens so seldom it can be quite scary. But the kids.....
She recommended meditation and yoga, and qigung, which Janet started teaching me. But I wanted something more directed, so I don't fall off the wagon. It's too important; she thinks this is the way to prevent recurrence -- and Western Medicine has nothing to offer for that except tamoxifen, and maybe bisphosphinates. The balancing thing comes at it from a different angle too. SO she said acupuncture. I would totally go to her if we lived there -- because it was so clear that she knows her stuff! So I asked if she knew anyone here, and she gave me the name of a Chinese doctor who contracts for NIH. I have my first appointment with him on Monday. We will see......
We'll see if he has the experience she has with breast cancer survivors -- I'm a little worried that breast cancer survivors may gravitate more towards a woman, and so he wouldn't have much experience with them ........ Also I know he will cost more, for starters because of the cost of living here vs Ithaca...... I hope insurance will offer something -- but I'm going to do it regardless. I will know if it works, I think. I had acupuncture once before, for energy balancing (which I imagine is very similar) and I sure felt that! Anyway my appt is Monday, and it's in Bethesda, a nice ride (yeah just what I need, one more doctor on the Capital Crescent trail!) It's just 4 miles beyond the trail.
It makes sense to me that Chinese medicine might have something to offer with preventing recurrence, where Western Med really specializes in sending the big guns when there is obvious cancer present. It really resonated for me when the doctor said "Chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery is the easy part. The hard part is preventing reccurrence." I know not everyone will agree that going through those treatments is easy from the patient's point of view -- though does express to a large extent how I felt/feel. HOwever -- she may have meant from the point of view of looking at what there is that can be done, what there is to choose from. I think that's largely why going through it was easy for me (well that and the biking.) It's important to me to do what needs to be done to fix a problem, and the solution was so clear. Now....... like she said, this is the hard part. I just hope he gets it (the bethesda doc) like she seemed to. Maybe I can see her once a year too.....
When I was in Ithaca with the 3 day viral thing, I went to see Lenny's CHinese doctor -- because of the viral thing which I wasn't sure was viral. And I learned something interesting. She took my pulses and said she felt a liver imbalance. I thought at first that it was from all the chemo, but she said, actually she's worked with a number of breast cancer survivors, and we tend to have liver imbalances -- and SHE says that this type of imbalance predisposes you to breast cancer, and her thought is that we've always had it, or had it for a long time.
She said I need to protect my liver, and recommended I quit drinking and eating fatty heavy foods. I said okay, but I don't really eat those foods, and I wasn't drinking more than one drink a few days a week (okay maybe every day when I was in New Mexico, but usually it's a max of 2 days a week -- and often none.) So I said, sure I'll stop, but that's a little change; I don't think it will fix any imbalances. She said, yes, that's a little change; the big change is emotional balancing. She asked me about emotional traumas in my life. I couldn't think of any.
However, I have been paying attention since then -- and i do have a hard time not taking it in when the kids throw their emotions at me. I have to learn to protect myself from that. I have learned not to take it in when Alan throws his emotions around, and that took a long time, since it happens so seldom it can be quite scary. But the kids.....
She recommended meditation and yoga, and qigung, which Janet started teaching me. But I wanted something more directed, so I don't fall off the wagon. It's too important; she thinks this is the way to prevent recurrence -- and Western Medicine has nothing to offer for that except tamoxifen, and maybe bisphosphinates. The balancing thing comes at it from a different angle too. SO she said acupuncture. I would totally go to her if we lived there -- because it was so clear that she knows her stuff! So I asked if she knew anyone here, and she gave me the name of a Chinese doctor who contracts for NIH. I have my first appointment with him on Monday. We will see......
We'll see if he has the experience she has with breast cancer survivors -- I'm a little worried that breast cancer survivors may gravitate more towards a woman, and so he wouldn't have much experience with them ........ Also I know he will cost more, for starters because of the cost of living here vs Ithaca...... I hope insurance will offer something -- but I'm going to do it regardless. I will know if it works, I think. I had acupuncture once before, for energy balancing (which I imagine is very similar) and I sure felt that! Anyway my appt is Monday, and it's in Bethesda, a nice ride (yeah just what I need, one more doctor on the Capital Crescent trail!) It's just 4 miles beyond the trail.
It makes sense to me that Chinese medicine might have something to offer with preventing recurrence, where Western Med really specializes in sending the big guns when there is obvious cancer present. It really resonated for me when the doctor said "Chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery is the easy part. The hard part is preventing reccurrence." I know not everyone will agree that going through those treatments is easy from the patient's point of view -- though does express to a large extent how I felt/feel. HOwever -- she may have meant from the point of view of looking at what there is that can be done, what there is to choose from. I think that's largely why going through it was easy for me (well that and the biking.) It's important to me to do what needs to be done to fix a problem, and the solution was so clear. Now....... like she said, this is the hard part. I just hope he gets it (the bethesda doc) like she seemed to. Maybe I can see her once a year too.....
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Radiation Burn Return
Of course it turned out that I was in fact sick (surprise surprise! to no one but me, probably.) Perhaps the symptoms mimicked my taxol side effects because my body remembered them, someone said last night. (It sounded more plausible the way she said it.) Yesterday I was clearly better but not quite all the way -- today I do feel all better though. TOo bad we only have a couple more days here.....
I have another new thing, though. Not sure if this is because of the illness or the herbs Lenny's chinese doctor gave me for them (those are the two most plausible guesses so far) but my radiation burn is back! It came back MOnday.
I mean, my radiation was done on March 20th, and it left a nasty looking burn that took a month to heal after that. But still it's been all better for months -- just a little browner than the skin around it. And suddenly Monday night it felt itchy -- so i checked in the mirror and it was red and angry looking! I thought at first it must be because I had stopped oiling it for a couple of days while i was sick -- but I started again and the burn area continued getting worse. NOw it has itchy raised bumps along the upper edge and behind my armpit. I emailed my radiation onc, who is wonderful in person and always responds to my emails right away -- but all he would tell me is that I need to come in. (I knew he would, too......) SO I have to call tomorrow and schedule a visit for Tuesday -- just what I want to do with my time on my kids' first day of school..... and really, what's he going to do anyway?
I have another new thing, though. Not sure if this is because of the illness or the herbs Lenny's chinese doctor gave me for them (those are the two most plausible guesses so far) but my radiation burn is back! It came back MOnday.
I mean, my radiation was done on March 20th, and it left a nasty looking burn that took a month to heal after that. But still it's been all better for months -- just a little browner than the skin around it. And suddenly Monday night it felt itchy -- so i checked in the mirror and it was red and angry looking! I thought at first it must be because I had stopped oiling it for a couple of days while i was sick -- but I started again and the burn area continued getting worse. NOw it has itchy raised bumps along the upper edge and behind my armpit. I emailed my radiation onc, who is wonderful in person and always responds to my emails right away -- but all he would tell me is that I need to come in. (I knew he would, too......) SO I have to call tomorrow and schedule a visit for Tuesday -- just what I want to do with my time on my kids' first day of school..... and really, what's he going to do anyway?
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Aches and Pains in Ithaca
Got to Ithaca yesterday for my first visit here in 2 yrs and almost immediately started feeling achey and chilled. My first thought was, it's viral, but it hasn't moved in the last 24 hrs. Not better, not worse. Like when i was on taxol a year ago. Lenny thinks maybe it's an adrenal crash. Is it possible that could cause the same symptoms as taxol?
I don't know anything about adrenal crashes. Lenny has a chinese medicine practitioner he thinks is great at diagnosing and might be able to help with acupuncture. I'm going to see if i can get in to see her tomorrow or something -- it would be nice to at least have a sense of what this is!
I did bike my first comfortable over 50 mile ride since chemo, Friday, and they yesterday I drove here -- about 320-330 miles. I do have a little sore spot under my back/shoulder bone that started at the end of the drive, but the rest of this feels completely different.
Could it be that I couldn't deal with all the side effects of chemo when i was on it, so some of it waited? THat's happened to me with emotional things before.... I didn't know I could do it with physical things, but if it turns out I did that has kind of neat implications for keeping the cancer away -- or in check -- now and in future!
I don't know anything about adrenal crashes. Lenny has a chinese medicine practitioner he thinks is great at diagnosing and might be able to help with acupuncture. I'm going to see if i can get in to see her tomorrow or something -- it would be nice to at least have a sense of what this is!
I did bike my first comfortable over 50 mile ride since chemo, Friday, and they yesterday I drove here -- about 320-330 miles. I do have a little sore spot under my back/shoulder bone that started at the end of the drive, but the rest of this feels completely different.
Could it be that I couldn't deal with all the side effects of chemo when i was on it, so some of it waited? THat's happened to me with emotional things before.... I didn't know I could do it with physical things, but if it turns out I did that has kind of neat implications for keeping the cancer away -- or in check -- now and in future!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Rosa Won!
I must have blogged about Rosa before..... she's on my list of "heroes" on the side, so if you want a quick description of who she is, take a peek. I used to bike with her -- but she started training for the senior games around when I started chemo, so I couldn't keep up anymore....... but she sped up more than I slowed down; most of the younger bikers (you know, my age) haven't been able to keep up with her either, for the last year since she started training.
Anyway, lookit this, she won! She didn't believe me, but I told her she might really win!
Rosa Seemann crosses the finish line first in both the 20K and 40K races at the 2009 National Senior Games, the "Senior Olympics," this week. Her times place her fifth overall in a field of 244, aged 50 to 89. She is 72 years old. She will compete in both a 5K and a 10K time trial on Monday. Sr Games: http://www.2009seniorgames.org/ BoB: http://www.babesonbikes.org/
And they say I'm inspiring!!!
Meanwhile --
I'm feeling better. Yesterday I biked 35 miles, walked 3 m of hills with Pinky, and then swam half a mile -- but the big change is, I wasn't tired during or after these things. When I was done swimming I played with Em and her friend going off the diving board. I have never stopped biking/swimming, etc, but I haven't had the energy to play for awhile. (Hey you've got to have your priorities.....) I biked faster on Wednesday, 46 miles in almost the same time as the 35 yesterday (which is why I did more stuff after, yesterday. That and I wasn't tired!)
And now -- one more dog walk and hopefully a swim too, and tomorrow we're off to New Mexico! Back on the 18th.
I'm glad I seem to be getting my energy back before the trip -- but I wonder, will that mean I get restless if I don't get my wiggles out well enough? Might it be less of an issue because their whole family is athletic?
Anyway, lookit this, she won! She didn't believe me, but I told her she might really win!
Rosa Seemann crosses the finish line first in both the 20K and 40K races at the 2009 National Senior Games, the "Senior Olympics," this week. Her times place her fifth overall in a field of 244, aged 50 to 89. She is 72 years old. She will compete in both a 5K and a 10K time trial on Monday. Sr Games: http://www.2009seniorgames.org/ BoB: http://www.babesonbikes.org/
And they say I'm inspiring!!!
Meanwhile --
I'm feeling better. Yesterday I biked 35 miles, walked 3 m of hills with Pinky, and then swam half a mile -- but the big change is, I wasn't tired during or after these things. When I was done swimming I played with Em and her friend going off the diving board. I have never stopped biking/swimming, etc, but I haven't had the energy to play for awhile. (Hey you've got to have your priorities.....) I biked faster on Wednesday, 46 miles in almost the same time as the 35 yesterday (which is why I did more stuff after, yesterday. That and I wasn't tired!)
And now -- one more dog walk and hopefully a swim too, and tomorrow we're off to New Mexico! Back on the 18th.
I'm glad I seem to be getting my energy back before the trip -- but I wonder, will that mean I get restless if I don't get my wiggles out well enough? Might it be less of an issue because their whole family is athletic?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Balancing Act
Went on a hard hill ride yesterday. Lynn led it. Lynn's always been out of my league; I could not keep up with her before chemo -- but she was testing out a new route and invited me and Joan to come with her -- because we hadn't been able to ride with her last Friday I think. It felt like an honor, somehow, so I really wanted to say yes. I like Lynn -- though I mostly know her through Joan and email contact, since I can't keep up with her for long enough to get to know her well while biking. (Now there's a motivator!)
So I arranged to ride Tuesday instead of Wednesday, & made sure Em would have people to hang with on Tuesday. Lynn rearranged her work schedule to do this at 9:30 for us instead of early early, as she usually does. And..... well..... honestly, it ended up being 50 miles of rolling hills in the blistering heat. Joan and Lynn waited for me at turns, because I fell behind on the hills. I got worried pretty early on, because I was tired by mile 5. HOwever -- though I had a hard time going up every hill, and my butt hurt, it wasn't harder going up the hills towards the end of the ride the way it was in Marshall -- it was just the same hard. And on the way home Joan and I stopped at SPokes and I got a seat cover - and it felt SO GOOD not to have pain every time I pushed down on the pedals that I sped up, and did better on the one last hill! SO, apparently the problem is not all in my lungs at the moment, but in my butt as well.
The background to that is, I've been trying a new saddle. My last one chafed on the sides. This one definitely is a better fit -- however, it's HARD. People swear by this kind of saddle, a brooks leather saddle. So I am giving it a try. However, it is possible that it won't work for me. I have a really flat butt, really very little padding on the bones. I mean, I use a sofa cushion on my seat at the dining room table..... know what I'm saying????
ANyway -- yesterday's ride was hard enough that I didn't even have it to walk the dog or swim today. I did walk her to the library and back, ~2 flat miles -- but I owed her 4. I meant to do it tonight, and it is nicer walking late at night than in the hothothot day -- but gawd, look at the time (I don't know what time zone this thing is in -- it's 1:10am MY time.) Tomorrow. I probably would have made it to do more if I hadn't gone rowing tonight -- but I had to leave for my rowing class by 5:30, and I had trouble getting going today. (Rowing is good, and I learn a lot, and it strengthens some of my muscles -- or would if I did it more than once a week, I think -- but it's never hard or fast enough to be a cardiovascular workout.) Rowing was one reason why I thought biking yesterday would work better than today -- my butt has been hurting on the boat after having spent the morning hours on a hard bike seat. It was better today.... however, the trail ride that happened today, which I missed, sounded a lot more appropriate for me. I'm up to speed on the trail rides, ahead of most, sometimes, so no one has to wait for me -- AND I don't have to get left behind. (The ride I wrote about in the last post was an exception; I've done fine since then. It was they who were fast, I do think, now, not I who was slow.)
Also, I did all right last week just walking and swimming, mostly, and biking only once. Marc and EMily were here and I wanted to spend time with them as much as possible -- and it worked. I'm hoping that bodes well for the New Mexico trip...... but we will see. I tried to get Bruce to help me figure out a workout plan, but he didn't really get it..... or maybe I have to ask him a bit further. Thing is, I get the feeling he thinks I'm just worrying, so he reassures me. But I'm worrying only because I don't have a plan, and reassurance isn't helping me because it's a plan that I need. He said I could get up at 5am and borrow a mountain bike and do 20 miles. I suppose.... maybe I could do that once if I got truly desperate. But I'm really not a morning person (I mean I'm REALLY not a morning person!) And I'm still tired from chemo -- mornings are hard. And the hot flashes that wake me in the night mean I probably take more time in bed to get a night's sleep than I used to...... and without a workout they are more frequent......
I would be happy to walk for an hour in the evenings, if there's someone who'd be interested in coming with me who walks nice and fast -- I'm not really going to be comfortable going for a walk on my own in the dark in an unfamiliar place with no dog! And I'll bring my swimsuit & hope for a pool..... He said not to rent a car, but maybe we should. I'm happy to borrow a bike to get myself to a pool or whatever, but distances are further out there I hear.
OKay I'm going to shut up now. Maybe this is a dumb blog post. Well I guess you don't have to read it.....
So I arranged to ride Tuesday instead of Wednesday, & made sure Em would have people to hang with on Tuesday. Lynn rearranged her work schedule to do this at 9:30 for us instead of early early, as she usually does. And..... well..... honestly, it ended up being 50 miles of rolling hills in the blistering heat. Joan and Lynn waited for me at turns, because I fell behind on the hills. I got worried pretty early on, because I was tired by mile 5. HOwever -- though I had a hard time going up every hill, and my butt hurt, it wasn't harder going up the hills towards the end of the ride the way it was in Marshall -- it was just the same hard. And on the way home Joan and I stopped at SPokes and I got a seat cover - and it felt SO GOOD not to have pain every time I pushed down on the pedals that I sped up, and did better on the one last hill! SO, apparently the problem is not all in my lungs at the moment, but in my butt as well.
The background to that is, I've been trying a new saddle. My last one chafed on the sides. This one definitely is a better fit -- however, it's HARD. People swear by this kind of saddle, a brooks leather saddle. So I am giving it a try. However, it is possible that it won't work for me. I have a really flat butt, really very little padding on the bones. I mean, I use a sofa cushion on my seat at the dining room table..... know what I'm saying????
ANyway -- yesterday's ride was hard enough that I didn't even have it to walk the dog or swim today. I did walk her to the library and back, ~2 flat miles -- but I owed her 4. I meant to do it tonight, and it is nicer walking late at night than in the hothothot day -- but gawd, look at the time (I don't know what time zone this thing is in -- it's 1:10am MY time.) Tomorrow. I probably would have made it to do more if I hadn't gone rowing tonight -- but I had to leave for my rowing class by 5:30, and I had trouble getting going today. (Rowing is good, and I learn a lot, and it strengthens some of my muscles -- or would if I did it more than once a week, I think -- but it's never hard or fast enough to be a cardiovascular workout.) Rowing was one reason why I thought biking yesterday would work better than today -- my butt has been hurting on the boat after having spent the morning hours on a hard bike seat. It was better today.... however, the trail ride that happened today, which I missed, sounded a lot more appropriate for me. I'm up to speed on the trail rides, ahead of most, sometimes, so no one has to wait for me -- AND I don't have to get left behind. (The ride I wrote about in the last post was an exception; I've done fine since then. It was they who were fast, I do think, now, not I who was slow.)
Also, I did all right last week just walking and swimming, mostly, and biking only once. Marc and EMily were here and I wanted to spend time with them as much as possible -- and it worked. I'm hoping that bodes well for the New Mexico trip...... but we will see. I tried to get Bruce to help me figure out a workout plan, but he didn't really get it..... or maybe I have to ask him a bit further. Thing is, I get the feeling he thinks I'm just worrying, so he reassures me. But I'm worrying only because I don't have a plan, and reassurance isn't helping me because it's a plan that I need. He said I could get up at 5am and borrow a mountain bike and do 20 miles. I suppose.... maybe I could do that once if I got truly desperate. But I'm really not a morning person (I mean I'm REALLY not a morning person!) And I'm still tired from chemo -- mornings are hard. And the hot flashes that wake me in the night mean I probably take more time in bed to get a night's sleep than I used to...... and without a workout they are more frequent......
I would be happy to walk for an hour in the evenings, if there's someone who'd be interested in coming with me who walks nice and fast -- I'm not really going to be comfortable going for a walk on my own in the dark in an unfamiliar place with no dog! And I'll bring my swimsuit & hope for a pool..... He said not to rent a car, but maybe we should. I'm happy to borrow a bike to get myself to a pool or whatever, but distances are further out there I hear.
OKay I'm going to shut up now. Maybe this is a dumb blog post. Well I guess you don't have to read it.....
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Falling Behind
I am a little worried about what appears to be a sudden setback in my biking pace. I've been riding in the back for some time now, but except for hill rides I've always been able to keep up with the group -- and I was even starting to ride in front for awhile there! However, for the last 3 rides I had real trouble keeping up -- and only one of them was a hill ride. Today I kept up for the first 15 miles and then I dropped so far back that I couldn't even see the group for the remaining 20 miles -- despite the big break at the bread store at mile 17ish.
It seems odd for me to suddenly be having this trouble. Perhaps it's just the pace of my healing, and the other bikers in my biking club are getting faster and stronger at a more accelerated pace (Joan's theory) -- but I have to wonder, maybe something is not right with me, beyond still-recovering. I am not sure. It does feel like it's the rest of the Babes who have suddenly grown wings, but it always feels like that when I drop back -- even back when I tried to keep up with them on my 20 year old mountain bike. (I know, I know. I was stubborn and didn't believe in the difference between road bikes and mountain bikes.....)
I'm not swimming 45 min miles anymore, either -- and I had recovered that time, post radiation -- I even did a few faster than that. Now I've slowed down again. I thought it was because I'm using the outdoor pool, which is warmer (so it's hard to remember I'm not lollygagging in the tub sometimes....) but yesterday I went with a friend and was motivated to swim fast so I could spend more time with her -- but I couldn't keep it up, the last 6th was brutal, and in the end it took me 50 mins.
I wonder, could the tamoxifen be causing part of this? (ALan's thought.) I hope not -- because I'm going to be on it for another 4.5 years. I think lung damage is a more likely cause -- then I'd have trouble getting enough oxygen to my muscles. Anyway I'd be very interested to hear if anyone knows of any other athletic cancer survivors who had this trouble after the treatment is done. I mean, I finished chemo 5 months ago, and radiation 3.5 months ago -- and I kept up with my biking club better LAST summer, while I was ON chemo. I know, it has a cumulative effect -- but this is a bit more than what I was expecting at THIS point.
It seems odd for me to suddenly be having this trouble. Perhaps it's just the pace of my healing, and the other bikers in my biking club are getting faster and stronger at a more accelerated pace (Joan's theory) -- but I have to wonder, maybe something is not right with me, beyond still-recovering. I am not sure. It does feel like it's the rest of the Babes who have suddenly grown wings, but it always feels like that when I drop back -- even back when I tried to keep up with them on my 20 year old mountain bike. (I know, I know. I was stubborn and didn't believe in the difference between road bikes and mountain bikes.....)
I'm not swimming 45 min miles anymore, either -- and I had recovered that time, post radiation -- I even did a few faster than that. Now I've slowed down again. I thought it was because I'm using the outdoor pool, which is warmer (so it's hard to remember I'm not lollygagging in the tub sometimes....) but yesterday I went with a friend and was motivated to swim fast so I could spend more time with her -- but I couldn't keep it up, the last 6th was brutal, and in the end it took me 50 mins.
I wonder, could the tamoxifen be causing part of this? (ALan's thought.) I hope not -- because I'm going to be on it for another 4.5 years. I think lung damage is a more likely cause -- then I'd have trouble getting enough oxygen to my muscles. Anyway I'd be very interested to hear if anyone knows of any other athletic cancer survivors who had this trouble after the treatment is done. I mean, I finished chemo 5 months ago, and radiation 3.5 months ago -- and I kept up with my biking club better LAST summer, while I was ON chemo. I know, it has a cumulative effect -- but this is a bit more than what I was expecting at THIS point.
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